New Release: 'Somebody Whole'
- Dec 1, 2024
- 2 min read
Updated: Jan 23
New Release: 'Somebody Whole' is out now.
This song came from looking back at the younger version of myself and wishing I could reach through time to help him. The world broke me in so many ways . . slowly, quietly, piece by piece. Some breaks were obvious. Some were subtle. Some I did not even notice until years later when I looked in the mirror and barely recognized who was looking back. I did not know how to fix myself. I did not know where to start. I just kept moving, hoping the cracks would seal on their own.
I wish I could sit down with that kid and tell him a few things. That it is okay to feel lost. That it is okay to not have it all figured out. That the people who hurt you were never a reflection of your worth. That the pain you are carrying is not forever. That you are allowed to ask for help. That you are allowed to break and still be worth putting back together. But I cannot go back. All I can do is speak to him through this song. All I can do is try to be the version of me he needed back then.
The Weight of Looking Back
Looking back is heavy because you cannot change anything. You see all the moments where you could have chosen differently. You see all the times you carried pain that was not yours to carry. You see all the ways the world chipped away at you until you felt like less than whole. The weight is in knowing the younger you did the best he could with what he had. The weight is in knowing he deserved better. The weight is in knowing you are still carrying some of those pieces today.
The "Still Here" Perspective
I have learned I can only control how I treat the person I am now. I cannot go back and protect the younger me. I cannot undo the breaks. I definitely cannot make the world less cruel. But I can stop letting those old breaks define me. I can stop believing I am unfixable. I can start putting myself back together, one small choice at a time. I can start being kinder to the person who survived. I can start believing that I am worth becoming somebody whole.
If you have ever looked back at your younger self and wished you could help them . . if you have ever felt broken in ways you did not know how to fix . . if you have ever decided to start healing the person you are now . . this song is for you.
Give it a listen wherever you stream music.