Mending Stars

Maybe, I’m not okay
Just living day by day
Some mornings I can’t move, but I still fake my way
I take my meds so I don’t break, hold it all in place
But deep inside, I’m wondering if I’m losing the race

And everyone’s got their own storm
But I swear I’m outta form
How do they wake up and just go?
When I can’t even breathe slow

May be I’m not okay
Feels like life is flying by
And every “I’m fine” is rehearsed and dry
I don’t wanna bring you down
I just need to say it out loud
May be I’m not okay
But I’m still around

I don’t know how to come first
Feels selfish and it hurts
Carrying these bags like I’m moving cross the earth
My therapist says I’ve “graduated”
But it still feels complicated
If I’m healed, why do I feel the same?

Don’t freak out if you hear this
I’m not about to disappear
Just wish I could pause the noise
And get one quiet year

May be I’m not okay
I’ve been stuck in my own head
Trying to outrun the weight of what I’ve never said
I don’t need you to fix me now
I just want the space to feel somehow
May be I’m not okay
But I’m still proud

I’m not sure where this ends
Or who I’ll be by then
Time won’t stop, and I won’t lie
It scares me how it flies
But maybe this ache I feel
Is just life tryin’ to heal

May be I’m not okay
May be I’m just turning pages
May be this is growing up in all its stages
May be this is learning grace
May be I’m just finding space
To say I’m not okay
And that’s okay

I hope one day I rest
Lay these burdens down
May be I’ll find peace
Without burning out