Mending Stars

There’s a crack in the ceiling
And I watch it grow each night
Like a map of what I’m feeling
Like a timeline I can’t fight
I make coffee just to feel the warmth
Even when I’m shaking inside
The world’s on fire outside my door
But don’t worry, I’m fine

I’m almost fifty, time’s a thief
It took my youth and left me grief
I laugh too loud to hide the ache
My smile is something I still fake
I’ve got less ahead than what’s behind
And more regret than peace of mind
But I still show up, I still try
So yeah, I’m fine

Don’t worry about me, I’ve got this pain
I keep it tucked inside like rain
Falling in a house with no roofline
But hey, I’m fine
One part of me dreams, the other hides
I build futures while my heart cries
I miss the warmth of arms, of signs
But don’t worry, I’m fine
I swear, I’m fine

Therapy helps me stay afloat
Gives words to things I couldn’t quote
I don’t love myself, but I’m learning to
I guess being human means you do
I forgot how to make a friend
But maybe this isn’t the end
Maybe lonely just means undefined
But don’t worry, I’m fine

I hold hope like glass in trembling hands
Still bleeding, but I understand
Even broken things can shine
Even silence has a line
Even messes get a chance
Even I might get to dance
One day. In time.

So don’t worry about me, I’ve got this ache
It’s part of the light I try to make
I carry it like some design
But don’t worry, I’m fine
Yeah, I’m fine